PSA: To make this post child-friendly (as I assume many children are reading this), the word “f*ck” will be replaced by “fondulicious” and the word “d*ck” will be replaced by “dollface”. Alright, let’s begin.
EVERYONE IS A FONDULICIOUS DOLLFACE AND IT’S HORRIBLE WHY DID THEY FONDULICKING MAKE ME READ THIS IT’S SO FONDULICKING DEPRESSING FOR FONUDLICIOUS’S SAKE. DOLLFACES.
This has been a modern-day analysis of Othello. Please cite this post if you use any quotes from it. It took me a long time.
Are you supposed to be doing school work? Maybe you have a super-important paper due. Or even a bachelor’s thesis. Well, pay attention, cause I will make your life much easier…
Blow it off!
There are so many other important thing to do! Here’s a short list of more urgent things to take care of before getting back to work:
- Delete embarrassing YouTube videos of yourself.
- Get annoyed that you have several YouTube users, and that you only remeber one password.
- Accept the fact that you cannot delete all embarrassing videos, and start dreading the moment your future students will find a video of you riding a Dumbo at Walmart.
- Find old embarrassing blogs you’ve created.
- Try to delete said blogs, and again realize you do not remeber the password.
- Find a blog you actually aren’t embarrassed over.
- Write a new post. It’s been two years since last time, so this is certainly more important than a stupid bachelor’s thesis.
- Write a poem about how you feel about an important event in your life. Sample:
Such a beautiful soul
With talent and grace
Played an important role
Solved every case
I miss you already
I might be a fanatic
We’ll have to get ready
To say goodbye to Stana Katic
- Realize you’ve wasted an hour of your life.
- Time for lunch.
Attention: This post is only for girls. And boys who wear make-up. Well, I guess you don’t have to wear it a lot, maybe you just want to try it on, see how it feels. I guess animals technically can wear lipstain and chapsick too. And rocks. In my opinion, rocks should always wear something on their lips. I’m sorry for discriminating, anyone can read this post.
Have you ever lost the cap to your lipstain? Well I recently did, and it was traumatizing. But then, I had an excellent idea! I just stole my friend’s cap!
At this point, I thought the problem was solved, but then my friend discovered that suddenly, she had lost one of her caps.
I, of course, was deeply saddened by this. Luckily, we found a great solution to this too! Simply wrap an old gum wrapper around the top!
Works like a charm!
Have you ever heard about life hacks? Well this is the same thing, only better. And life is spelled with a y. Because “I” was taken. The “I” in “life, that is. I am not taken. Nope. Completely alone.
First tip: If the address/ name you want for a website is taken, spell it in a weird way that no one understands! I know it looks dumb, but at least you didn’t have to be creative and make up something yourself.